Off topic: That man has the most beautiful eyes. ETA: And a really pretty cryface.

I BIND YOU, SONY, FROM DOING HARM. HARM AGAINST OUR TEENAGE SELVES AND HARM AGAINST YOURSELF.

I always knew those Pats fans were an insurgency waiting to happen.

Seeing as how this website did not exist in the 1970s, probably not.

One out of my vagina and one ripped out of my guts after I was sliced open while awake. This will never stop blowing my mind.

Jesus Christ, what a bunch of butts. I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids and I don’t really like kids but I do my best to nod along supportively when people talk about their kids or show me pictures or whatever because that is basic human courtesy and also I guess it’s really nice that people love their kids? It’s…

I just don't even know what to say about shit like this anymore. The whole idea of gang rape or an actual group of people conspiring to commit acts like this to other people is just beyond my reason of thinking. I understand they do it b/c they're fucked up but why does it have to specifically be this type of shit, ya…

Not sure if serious, but here goes.....

It means the date rapists run in a pack within the team. They kicked out their teammates / other male partygoers who they knew wouldn't play along with their late night date rape agenda.
So the person supplying the quote (non date-rapist) is stating how he thought it was weird at the time to be suddenly kicked out,…

My feelings 1:1

Leave it to Conan to get this one right.

though it's odd that there needs to be a policy for human sympathy.

My aunt and uncle - who I have thankfully cut out of my life about 3 years ago, when I was 27 - CONSTANTLY brought up the fact that, when I was in 3rd grade, they gave me their old checks to play with. Said checks were useless, as they had closed the account and thought the absolute best thing to do with them was to…

his Throw a Football to Himself skit was the worst. i'm 37 so i watched a lot of Kilborn when he hosted it and I *remember* how unfunny it was. all these damn kids on my lawn talking about watching Jon Stewart their entire lives! i remember when the Daily Show was in black and white!

Jon Stewart deserves serious props, no matter your choice of political party. He's gotten in more shots on republicans than I could ever count, but we (republicans) are better for it and it's sad to see him leave. He also created a way to do the news that for a younger generation is not just tolerable but widely…

Jon Stewart always gave me a way to work through the anger and frustration and ridiculousness and wrongdoings of politics and people. Whatever awful thing had happened, you could watch him and even though the problem didn't get better, you at least could work through it and just go "Ya, somebody fucking gets it." And…

I've seen a lot of SportsCenter in my life. I've never seen an emotional Hannah Storm.