Not the fact that Speed was a murderous monster?

BaT?

Wife: Brings someone in to throw away all your stuff while you’re at work. 

Take it one step further: build up glass side panels and the US Postal Service can become the US Pope-stal Service.

I remember watching the Simpson’s once where they went to India and saw a guy turn himself into a pretzel and walk off using his beard. Bart’s comment was “I could do that, but I choose not to”

That’s easy, you make your vehicle out of the thing you’re smuggling (might not work for smuggling people).

Trunk monkey?

ALL bugs end up being Dutch Ovens.  I think we mis-spell “Dutch Oven”, it should be “Deutsch Ovens” in honor of Bugs.

Ding ding ding! The value of time. It didn’t really hit me until several years ago when I started taking freelance work and charged by the hour - that really helped me quantify what my time was actually worth, and what people were willing to pay for my time. It helped me create this highly technical algorithm:

I know plenty of people in their late 60s or 70s (like my folks) that just don’t have the appetite to look this up or figure out how to do it. Just because they’re capable of it, like my dad who’s a friggin’ engineer, doesn’t mean they want to spend their time doing it. That’s why dealerships will still be around.

One of the things I’m immensely grateful for is the attitude of my employer. From the outset of the pandemic, from the big boss on down, they’ve aggressively encouraged supported WFH, limited the number of people onsite (and chose the individuals intelligently after a deep dive on need to be there, skill sets that…

They should’ve picked one of you guys as transportation secretary!

This holiday season, I christen this my “Davidity Scene”

and

Sure a phone is good for quick stuff, but when my hands get disgusting and I spend all day on the car I would 100% rather have a paper book to turn through. My phone’s battery is shit and pulling it out when working on a car over a long period of time is a recipe for the phone to get nasty and probably dropped. I…

Come on, Jalopnik writers. I expect you understand why we can’t “just ban fossil-fueled cars at the moment” and this is just a troll. The problems with this statement, in no particular order...

I take my car to this guy, he even has his own garage with a lift and tools, give him some money, and sometime later he returns my car totally fixed. It’s pretty amazing.