Not only fast food.

“Okay, Merry Christmas, but I don’t give a shit about your New Year.”

Thin skinned crybabies are so triggered when they hear Happy Holidays. They need to go back to their goddamn Christmas safe spaces.

Biologist here. We can respond to this. These trees offer more to the planet than younger trees (more CO2 absorption, deeper roots, more biodiversity etc) and it takes hundreds of years to replace them. Make a quick call to your representatives demanding protection for older forests. (Planting new trees in cities is…

Collateral Beauty, or, as the public knows it: How Many Famous People Can You Squeeze Into a Feature Film And Still Have it Suck?

Yeah it looks pretty freaking low rent. Lays potato chips and build-your-own sandwiches with cheap white grocery store buns.

Looks like lunch meat. There’s also the slices of tomato and cheese next to it. So cheap sandwich bar!

mother fucker can’t even spring for sour cream & onion, get fucked

God I hate snow. As an Australian it always seemed wondrous and romantic to me until I lived in a place where it actually snows in winter and I realised that it is basically just very cold slippery rain.

eucalyptus trees are dangerous assholes and not even supposed to be in california. seriously.

And boom! goes the dynamite.

Doubtful. He can’t get his fingers all the way around the handle.

Janet prints A PORTION of Jessica’s horrible poems in the student newspaper each week, ensuring that the poems remain the leading gossip throughout the school year, and everyone lines up for each new issue.

Step off NC Barbeque! It is the best in the whole damn land! It shames the candied garbage served in KC, and reaches a compromise with the also-delicious Memphis/St. Louis style. Fact.

Ah, but you’re wrong. Gift giving is in the journey, not the destination. I see moments of Zen in this technique. The satisfaction is for you and not the receiver.

Or something.

Unless you’re shipping it, and maybe even then, just use a gift bag (from the dollar store) and tissue paper (the decorative kind, not the snot rag kind). It’s reusable, it’s less hassle, and you don’t have any leftover rolls of wrapping paper lounging about your house in the end. Plus, handles to carry, and it works…

Donald Trump, the man who somehow makes it possible for you to feel bad for Tiffany’s, Armani, and Gucci.

This is an amazing story, and yet I am most impressed by the extraordinary pettiness of the anonymous puppy-owner.

*am