They probably upped the sugar and added more thickeners when it turned out it was hard to pass ice milk off as ice cream.

Technically, the majority of the planet definitely wouldn’t say “yeah, 20 pounds sounds about right, I see no malfunction with this scale” because the majority of the planet doesn’t speak English.

Fun fact: in the ’90s (in the US) the definition of ice cream was changed such that “ice milk” could rebrand itself “low-fat ice cream.” Ice milk never actually went away.

This isn’t “memorizing the average calorie count of ice cream,” this is like weighing a Great Dane and saying “yeah, 20 pounds sounds about right, I see no malfunction with this scale.”

Back in elementary school, we sang:

Are we just sharing surreal fanfic in the comments here, because I’m down with that. Here’s a fun Homestuck one where Davesprite owns a hospital.

Ah, the initiative system. It sure is a thing that exists.

It’s definitely true.

Oh hey, I’ve seen this guy around at protests! I can’t remember what specific group he’s with. Serious-looking guy who seems to be part of the protest-organizing side of things (as opposed to the just-turning-up thing I do)—hangs around afterward to put the sound equipment away, stuff like that. Boy, he’s pissed in…

Salmon is the fish of the gods you take that back.

Even when poke is served with rice, it isn’t served with sushi rice. Just being adjacent to raw fish doesn’t mean it has to be sushi rice.

don’t you ruin my math joke wherein i use exclamation marks repeatedly for mere emphasis and then once at the end to indicate a factorial

Have faith in CaptainPower!

Guittard! The chunks of chocolate Sprouts sells are from Guittard. Delicious. They don’t make bars, but Sees uses their courveture. Couveture? Fuck, I dunno how to spell that. COUVERTURE, okay that’s it.

16 cell phones! That’s 4^2! 2^4! 1+2+3+4+6! (4!-8)

You can’t just throw them away anyway, they’re hazardous waste. Or…actually that probably varies by state, now I think about it.

Today’s fun fact: much of the Wild West had pretty strict gun control.

Panama disease.

Yet San Diego, the most conservative major CA city, was selling on the first of January. *shrug emoticon*

Well, I didn’t know that movie existed and now I’m weirded out. A guy actually did this in the ’90s! He stole a tank! And rampaged! And the police couldn’t do anything because it was a fucking tank! Was he inspired by a fucking movie? I sure hope that’s a coincidence.