I’m imagining the Hasbro executive suite realizing that they have made a terrible decision when Suge Knight calls into the next quarterly earnings teleconference from his prison cell.

Spittin’ rhymes, doin’ crimes, and servin’ time!

How did they even afford a hover car if no one in that family works? I guess we’ll never know.

I’m looking forward to the Suge Knight pickup truck Transformer. All the kids will love playing with Hit’N’Run.

In related news, the next version of the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary is expected to require a Parental Advisory label.

Hasbro is the label that pays me.

I didn’t know this was controversial at all. Peach could float, which made all the platforming far more manageable.

When I was a kid, I picked Toad because my platforming skills were razor-honed, so his swiftness was the greatest benefit to me. These days I’d probably pick Peach or Luigi because I don’t have the time to master every game I play.

ok but... Toad could pick things up in a hot second like a boss

I mentioned this at the Root when I first saw this story, but I never knew towns like this existed. Then I met a guy from Michigan who never met a black person until he went to college.

If you have not, follow the link and listen to the audio. There is a LOT of pausing and “uhms” as if she is trying not to use the racial epithets she is probably used to saying. Just reading the quotes here makes her sound much more clear and coherent than the audio. If you can imagine hat.

By Neanderthal DNA you mean 'Murican Jesus bootstraps DNA! 

I’m always amused when racists start talking about purity.  If you want to play that game, Africans are probably the “purest” race in terms of genetics.  Most white people are tainted by that 5% of Neanderthal DNA.

Someone should tell this idiot that if God did indeed create Adam and Eve that those two were brown semetic people from North Africa or Asia and not White Europeans. 

Actually kinda nice of her to be so open about it. Quite refreshing.

Jason and the Argonauts taught me the ancient Greeks all spoke English with a Midwestern accent and the women wore push-up bras. I loved that movie. So, sure. Why not?

>> “Husband and wife need to be the same race. Same thing with kids. That’s how it’s been from the beginning of, how can I say, when God created the heaven and the earth. He created Adam and Eve at the same time.”

Anyone gonna take up the challenge of asking her how, if God created Adam (1) and Eve (1), and “Husband and wife need to be the same race” because “that’s how it’s been from the beginning,” how we have different “races” in the first place?

Literally the boomers’ entire existence is based around berating things they don’t understand

What’s with the random vegan and anti-creationism stuff? Do boomers just think socialism is “whatever makes us uncomfortable?”