Well, he’s illiterate. Our president doesn’t read. Let me repeat: the president doesn’t read, because he can’t focus for more than five seconds. Just fucking kill me. Then kill me again if I get back up.

I love the Lynch versions. I’m afraid that they’ll try to go all nuPower Rangers on it.

History will remember these invertebrate lickspittles.

If I were a reporter, I’d be asking Ryan how he’s managing to stand up while missing a spine.

I personally loved the leap from “there is NO way of knowing how many people were there.” to “There were the most people from any inauguration ever.”