Does anyone ever go to Wheeling on purpose? 

You must not have been to Pittsburgh in recent years. As AB would say, “Business is booming” for the city.

I think there were ulterior motives here...

This dude just made a few grand for doing nothing at all. Good for him. On a side note, people will waste their money on the dumbest shit.

How dare you opt for a non poop-related Email of the Week, especially when we are THIS close to the regular season. Testosterone levels are high. Give us our shit story!

Thoughts and prayers to their families. 

Someone needs to tell Ertz that Williams only hands out the bounty when it’s someone on his team that sends a player to the locker room.

It’s funny you keep going on and on fighting with people about something you don’t like. We get it. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t like fantasy football. 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW?!?

The first pick is tough this year, IMO. Do you go Gurley, who had a great year, followed by a shit year, followed by a great year. Or do you go with Bell, who has been consistently great since coming into the league, but hasn’t practiced at all and has yet to sign his franchise tender. 

I was shaving my nutsack once and nicked it. The blood produced was horrific, despite the cut being minor. It took forever to stop the bleeding.

Out of all the examples you stated, the only one that really made sense to me was this one... “Picture a plastic straw being twisted from both ends until a small, burstable pocket of air forms in the middle.” 

I’m a shorter dude, 5'9 and I HATE the handicapped stalls because the seats are so damn high. I prefer a seat lower to the ground as it gives me just enough bend in the knees to sit comfortably and go about my business. 

Like Flacco’s arm, that brawl was weak.

“Don’t forget you heard it here first 18,534th, folks...”

Story 2: My wife’s family had a pizzeria that I’d often swing by on the weekend for a slice or two while running errands. She was working that day and brought me two 2 slices, which I proceeded to drown in parm cheese and pepper flakes. While eating, I rub my eye and within seconds, it starts to burn worse than I’ve…

Story 1: I was about 15 and helping my next door neighbor dig out a fence post. The shovel was on the ground and I thought I’d be smooth and step on the spade and grab the handle as it popped up. I missed the handle and it hit me clear in the cheekbone under my left eye, cutting me open.

Two things I hate most about the Ravens and neither has to do with the actual team.

I remember when Deadspin used to be on top of things. This happened yesterday evening and was all over TV last night and this morning.  Y’all need to staff better.