No Country for Dumb and Dumber.

Josh Rosen is making it his quest to get Arizona a 9-151 record over the next decade.

I’m sure Darnold will make a fine Jet. After all, the bar for USC QBs is so low in New York, if you jump over it, you hit a lineman in the ass and fumble.

The only way this could get better is if by some cosmic twist one of those republican forced burial anti-abortion laws allowed the fetal remains to exhumed and DNA tested and proved categorically Trump was the father.

A 20-something taking to Instagram to complain that his employer isn’t treating him like an adult is perhaps the most 2018 thing ever.

Counterpoint— if the Wizards had drafted Kawhi, he would’ve topped out as Otto Porter Jr.

At this point, sports fans in DC should basically tune out of basketball and hockey when we reach April. Following the Wizards and Caps in the playoffs, not to mention the Nats in the fall, is a more brutal, protracted punishment than what Sleeping Beauty gets in those Anne Rice eroticas.

Not a huge surprise given that one’s melanin is generally inversely proportional to one’s Gruden Grinderness

The dreaded Black Guy With Personality syndrome. Must be stamped out immediately.

In comparison, Ronaldo doesn’t even need to be told to walk, he just does it anyways. Advantage: Ronaldo.

Meh

Nobody in the goddamned room will challenge anything they say because they don’t want to be sent to their rooms like a pouty teenager.

Great job, CNN, just allowing her bald-faced lie to go unchallenged in your goddamn census tweet.

Even Dana Loesch wouldn’t defend that shooting.

That wasn’t the real ash. The priest burned his thumb when he touched her forehead.

Which is also hilarious to me, because all of the frothing-at-the-mouth evangelicals that make up the majority of the “Christian right” don’t even believe that Catholics are “real” Christians and that they are going to hell because they aren’t “saved.” But, since she was being racists and affirming their own bigotry,…

“As someone once said, shut up and dribble.”

And the thing is that people like her can’t stand Pope Francis because he sometimes shows an ounce of humanity, which is an ounce too much for the Ingrahams of the world.

Ash? That was dirt left over from the gutter she woke up in.