The saddest part is that Trump actually doesn’t consider them tweets, but actual media publications from the White House. He doesn’t understand how meaningless they seem to the rest of the world. I don’t think any world leader actually considers his tweets as actual policy.

1) Get a little mouthy with Putin

Ivanka has been pretty silent on social media since this last hailstorm occurred. I am frankly tired of seeing this Faux-clueless game she likes to play when crap is going down as she sails in and out of playing “American Princess VIP” and ignoring the actual realty of fool-nutery in what is actually going on. As if…

Fuck, I knew it was a bad news day. Earlier today I even texted Mr. Flotsam—who works far from home—to make a plan for when Shit Goes Down.

I’m so glad you’re back, Muck! This one genuinely made me laugh after a 15-hour day. Thanks, man: I needed that 👍

Don’t bother reading the tweets themselves. Ever. It will just make your shoulders hunch all the tighter and drive your blood pressure all the higher.

Does anyone remember last January? Code 45* remembers. It was when El Calabaza Peluda tweeted this:

“Our relationship with Russia is worse now than it has ever been, and that includes the Cold War.”

“No collusion or obstruction( other than I fight back)..........

Okay, I must be getting towards the end of my rope, because I thought I was good at keeping up with the frequent and chaotic staffing changes of this administration until now. Who the fuck is “Larry K”?

If Donny Dipshit has nothing to hide and has done nothing wrong, is utterly blameless in all of this shit being investigated, you would think he would shut the fuck up about it. Let it play out asshole.

Good luck, Ivanka! Peruvian women have a higher-than-average rate of badassery. I can’t imagine they’ll have much time or patience with her kind of bullshit.

“She will accompany Vice President Mike Pence...”

No mention of the Republican congressman who talked shit about Trump with multiple motherfucker bomb drops?

1) Tell Russia to “get ready” because the missles are coming (to Syria)

We’ve gone from Cold War to Trolled War.

UK Update:

Only in this universe could “Twitter diplomacy” be a thing.