I have no idea how many people are actually going to option one of these up to $80,000 — nor would I want to meet the person who does. You have to just love burning cash to see depreciation like that on a well-optioned F-Pace.

“It is a bit better value than a Macan,”

No... the driver will be OK, he’s now driving for Swift.

If you default to Kelvin, you are my hero. And also deeply, deeply odd.

“Really, mister?!? All I have to do is go for a ride with you in your Rambler and I get to keep this nifty sail boat?!?

Just curious, did you have more fun off-roading or diagnosing what damage you had done?

That’s not the only VW with Tightfistyness built into the range from the factory! VW T3 Transporters had the speed variable intermittent wipers built into all models but to unlock them for the base model (which my Trakka campervan is one of) you have to.

Its German... thus the hat guys is holding either an engineering tolerance chart or an invite to that German playhouse for some really weird adult activities ... with a tolerance chart

Great story, David. Seriously, you should get a Pulitzer Prize for this.

“He’s spent the past hour alone looking at the taillights.”

Marketing Team Leader: “Seriously? No one else? Yes, I know that Jalopnik weirdo came. Of course he came."

Before we go all pitchforks-and-burning-feces on the Niels van Roij people, keep in mind they also do the Jalop-god’s work of turning not-wagons into wagons.

Jalopnik Law 504: Never buy* another man’s project.

*For purposes of this section, the term “buy” shall mean to pay “real money”.

The term “real money” shall be defined as any amount over $1,000.

Notwithstanding the above, this statute shall under no circumstances forbid the buying, as that term is defined in this…

Finally! My chance to own a book signed by the author.

The amount of rusty material he deals with, David should have the holy syringe of St. Tetanus in his home reliquary.   

Tragic: The Gathering

it’s a grower, not a show-er.

If it’s anything like interacting with Amazon on any sort of non-customer level, the drivers are almost certainly in the dark on a lot of the information they need - by design. Obfuscating everything but the absolute bare minimum to function is how Amazon deals with it’s “partners”, vendors, and employees. It’s a…