“Sure, we could have demanded he pay us the money back. But that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Andrew was more than just our quarterback, he was the person we rallied around after we let Peyton Manning go He brought us together: our present, our future and our glorious past. From our point of view, he helped…

Dearest Mother,

...Sir, this a Wendy’s.

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

So the Yankees are just going to mime giving a giant a handjob for the rest of the season?

This is just like my dad and me, only instead of hitting home runs for large sums of money, I’m an emotionally distant borderline alcoholic who can’t communicate a lifetime full of disappointment with a disengaged, functionally absentee parent. So cool!

Ya know, after spending way too much time on this,
I said ‘Fuck it-no one will look at it anyway.’

I pride myself on my Guy Remembering skills, but I’ve gotta confess: I have absolutely never heard of Adam Rosales at all. His wiki page doesn’t mention super speed home run trots, but it sure does mention the time he was DFA’d three times in 11 days.

I mean, yeah- watching Harper’s massive dong was cathartic, but given the choice between watching that and spending a quiet evening by the fireplace running my fingers through his hair, well ... catharsis takes on many forms, my friend.

Strong disagree. Everyone knows magic’s top film is The Prestige.

This being the Blue Jays I will assume that they have the sons of Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson, and Dennis Martinez in the minor leagues, future Cy Young winners all, but won’t call them up until they’ve exhausted every last second of service time. 

I’ve been a Mets fan for too fucking long to not know how this ends...

From Ross’ statement:

Why bother, Barry? Giants fans are going to say it for you.

A pretty good start. Can’t wait to see what he can do against NFL-level competition.

I’m amused at how the announcers said “this is being a good sport”

Ah man, I loved Bill Walton as an NBA guy. His pairing with Snapper Jones was probably my favorite broadcast tandem of all time.

Back when Bill Walton was calling NBA games I really did not enjoy watching those games. Turns out I really didn’t know him all that well or what he was all about.

No human has ever so precisely straddled the line between endearing and completely insufferable.

At what point do we see an NFL head coach smoking crystal meth during a game? I call 2025 at the latest.