Her crime: Not giving a fuck.

That too! Apparently the one good thing to come out of the movie Xanadu.

It's nobody's business what kind of plastic surgery one has, but we should all care a great deal why they feel it is necessary.

Unless you're hitting happy hour on a Friday with a ratty bun and sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you care.

I love that when she accepted her Tony Award she looked like she just stopped by while she was out running errands.

Yes (sarcasm), because childhood sexual abuse is totally an "accident." I call fucking bullshit on this. These monsters, they don't pull shit like this by "accident." Hell to the motherfucking no. They purposely go looking for these images and videos, they purposely go after people they feel are vulnerable, they purpos…

If it wasn't Jeff Goldblum, it is now.

This is code for a sexist old shit!

Alternatives from the Film Noir Thesaurus:

I have a deep seated flaming hatred of that word- since 110% of the people who say it tend to be conservative asswads who think I should be a submissive mouse.

Omg. THANK YOU. This was pretty much my exact reaction. :/

Mammase mammasa mamma makusa needs to be written into every song forever.

I love scotch eggs. The PA Ren Faire does a smashing job of them. Though fun fact: Not actually Scotch.

There was this place in Broadway Market in London I used to go to that had black pudding Scotch eggs. Fucking. Heaven.

Oh man, I just lost it at the Porkchop on a stick. I was in freaking tears from laughing so hard

That scotch egg - without a breath of sarcasm - looks fucking amazing.

You have picked a really weird cross to bear if this is the type of person you'd not want called dumb via a headline.

My husband's friend (late twenties, uber-rich parents, works at his dad's law firm) didn't know how lemonade was made. He was perplexed when he saw me juicing lemons and adding water and sugar in a pitcher. He thought all lemonade was made in a factory.

I once had 40yo customer ask me if the omelet had egg in it. The obvious reply of, "an omelet is made from eggs," prompted "well, it doesn't say egg," and a completely bewildered look from me.