I am literally just about to make an egg sandwich. But not like that.

Green leafy vegetables - you have to eat them. No one likes them, but they've got vitamins and minerals and stuff that nothing else has. I've tried avoiding them, and now I'm going the other way.

Killing animals for their skins is the new glamour career ever since John Cusack modeled it in The Paperboy.

I have never seen that, and now I will never not see it. Your work is done!

If anyone asks How do I explain this to my child? I would tell them, You're going to have to explain everything to your kids. THEY'RE KIDS. They don't know shit! You should have read a book or something before you had them.

Pretty much forever, in fact. Lawd luv him.

Childrenof 3 years old should not need root canals, either.

In an exclusive interview with TMZ, Ke$ha said

Your dog think's he's a cat.

The treat for her is that you pick the balls of snow out. Don't take that away.

MOAR SNOW! MOAR SLO-MO!

That is clearly the dog's sled. The dog OWNS that sled.

This is a great thread. I live in a place where any cocaine you might be offered will have spent time in someone else's bottom, so... not that there's anything wrong with that.

I want to denounce this as a prejudiced generalization, but in my case it's true.

Coffee makes me horribly ill too. It's a terrible drug.

Oh, let's play!

More dirt or gtfo.

Just publish under the name ButteryMuffyns. Keep Joyous Sparkle Pony for the bedroom.

I've gone 3 years without buying clothes. Let's collaborate on a book about how to mend and size down everything you own.

Hey, you're alive and conscious, right? You won!