I think a lot of times it’s a sort of built-in coping mechanism that becomes second nature. Years ago a boyfriend beat me into the hospital. I called 911, went to the ER, got a restraining order—he still somehow thought we were just having some sort of lover’s quarrel, and his version of what happened kept…

I went to an initial therapist, who, after hearing my story (beaten, stalked) referred me to a colleague who she said specialized in ‘capital T trauma’—so, I just started in my network and let her direct me to someone she thought could help. Good luck.

I had an abusive parent (not dad) and in my late 30's, it still effs me up.

Mila Kunis—one of my personal idols for her I don’t give any fucks attitude—was on a talk show years ago. I can’t find the video online but the host offered her a beer and a glass and she refused the glass with “I’m no lady.” I snorted water out of my nose, because she was just so matter-of-fact about it. (And if I…

You are ALSO a boss. My niece got out of the hospital yesterday, after two weeks—she was having breathing issues—and my brother sent me a pic of her older sister (2 and change) staring into her crib, and her face read: what a weird, wonderful, interesting creature. What do I do with her?

I don’t know how to reply to your reply to my reply—but just to say! My dad had a ton of fun taking pictures of preemie me next to things— like cradle phones, in his hand, etc. For scale! I was smaller than all of them. I turned out more than okay, health-wise, and your little lady looks like she’s on the same path. I…

I think part of the reason I love all my stray cats is because I basically am one—I live at home after escaping an abusive situation. (Sort of—he still stalks me) so I spent years dealing with DV court and filing police reports and isolating and moving back home. The stray cats are only judgy when I don’t give them…

I physically cannot blow my nose without actual, physical pain, because I’ve broken my nose so many times. (And no, I am not going to re-break it to fix my deviated septums.) So I apologize if I’m one of the snifflers who has annoyed you! It’s a health/money thing, not a lazy thing.

I haven’t been following your story, but I just want to say! I was a couple months early, and had to live in an incubator because I couldn’t breathe for a while on my own. The doctors literally told my parents I’d be short, socially behind, and ‘retarded’. (Late 70', still acceptable medical terminology then?) I’m…

I don’t know where you live, but hopefully there is a women’s shelter around. (DV survivor, spoke at one a few years ago and the strength of all the other survivors/supporters in the audience coalesced into some serious group strength.) I’m a big reader, and reading narratives of other women in similar situations…

Do you not get free counsel through DVC? I’m so sorry.

This is AWESOME. I volunteer with strays, and the more they are socialized with humans, the more adoptable they’ll be. Win-win!

I’d also like to add, at least in IL, the burden was on me to prove abuse to obtain an Order of Protection against someone who had physically abused me. I got my Emergency one ASAP, because I had documented EVERYTHING, but in order to get my permanent Order (which actually only lasts for 18 months) I had to show up to…

Just as a general reminder to all: some people don’t drink.

I was two months early, and couldn’t leave the hospital until I was four pounds. I had teensy lungs and had to live in an incubator for a bit. The doctors told my parents I’d be short, socially behind, and ‘retarded’. I’m perfectly average height, ran cross country and played soccer, and thrived at some amazing…

I can only speak to AA, but it explicitly says not to make amends to anyone to whom it would cause harm.

Sorry I’m late to the party—when I had to call 911 on my abusive ex, the second question the cops asked me (after whether or not we had kids—thank god no!) was whether we had any pets. Evidently pet harm/murder is very common in DV situations. So messed up. Glad you’re okay!

The side might be magnetic—my boyfriend’s fridge is non-magnetic on the doors, but we can throw things up on the one exposed side.

Wait—did you find her? And F your neighbor.

The amount of women killed from DV in 3 years is roughly equal to how many people died on 9/11.