“Biased Yankee fan here”

Having a shitty understanding of the free market is a feature not a bug of most “libertarian” thinkers.

I can’t wait for his next tweet - “Ok, here’s the data, forwarded to me by Curt Schilling...”

It’s exactly these kinds of shenanigans that keep me from competing in Ironman events. That and a life of slothful lethargy and general ill health due to poor diet, plethoric bong hits and excessive alcohol intake. 

I love when people take the time to write that they don’t have the time to write about something.

If you heard the smokey eye, Aunt Lydia, or softball coach jokes as jokes about her appearance, that says more about you than it does about Michelle Wolf.

Does anyone know why he would do something like this? Does the Head of Team Security’s jacket count as memorabilia these days? Was he planning some type of Ocean’s 11-style heist involving impersonating Mr. Walker? Inquiring minds need to know!

Is nonsensical concern-trolling a particularly moral way to seek out upvotes? Asking for a dipshit named Wons.

Why the actual fuck is the umpire involving himself here? Because Baez was being rude? If he wants to stand in front of the baserunner, that’s the Cubs’ problem to deal with. Jesus, I hate when referees are morality police.

Yeah, stealing signs is part of the game and they should get better signs, but using gamesmanship to prevent it way out of bounds apparently

Thank the Lord this was not a game involving STL. That’s all I have to say.

In all seriousness, I do wonder if that’s the same gun Craig James used to kill five hookers at SMU.

[gets out of limo]

It’s crazy that one moment we’re completely fine and the next on the brink of death and not really know why. Hope this dude is okay.

Authorities suspect a thief stole two tractors

Sounds optimistic. Everything in its right place, I guess? Maybe you should learn how to disappear completely instead of leaving us all in limbo.

Then Everything in it’s Right Place obviously

Why, you might be asking, don’t I think the girl belongs to Dad A? Well, when she finally gets the puck from a frustrated Connolly, she turns around and brandishes proudly at Dad B, not Dad A. I also don’t believe a Dad would have it in him to pass over his own daughter twice in a minute’s time.

You’d think with all of the unspoken rules in baseball, surely one would be ‘you should have your corporate headquarters in the municipality that you’ve cheated out of resources for years and years.’

Mr. No Fun over here.