I moved here (for grad school) around the time my husband and I were thinking about having kids and I asked my doc how/where I’d get an abortion if I didn’t get results of an amnio back and then couldn’t make an appointment until it was too late for crazy TN laws. He said he usually sends people to Louisville in that…

My siblings and I were about that far apart (I’m the middle child). Short answer: whatever you tell them when they’re 3, they will not remember. It’s a good time to think about your policy for such things though because it’s a little hard to predict when they will start remembering what you tell them. I know my…

My school’s sex ed was very traditional insofar is it was not about sexuality or identity, it was about anatomy, reproduction, and disease control. We were taught about condoms in 7th grade the way we were taught about hand-washing in kindergarten. We learned about erections shortly after we dissected a heart and…

He came to my elementary school to do a book signing when I was a kid (perk of growing up in central Ohio) and it was like a fucking holiday. EVERYONE was excited to see him: kids, teachers, parents. I didn’t even read his books (never been into scary things) and I thought he was delightful.

Have you ever been in someone else’s house when their baby is like 2 months old and sounds like a lawn mower revving up to SHRIEK for the next three hours, just to prove it has lungs? I get that when it’s your own kid, it kicks in your comforting instincts, but when it’s someone else’s kid, it kicks in your smothering…

Marital ads in newspapers continued to be a thing long past the early twentieth century. They may just have changed to “personal” rather than “marriage” ads. My parents met via a personal ad my mother posted in the 1970s. My mother explicitly stated her “professional” status (not as in hooker, but as in white-collar…

I’m with you but I also laugh/cringe to myself a little because it usually seems like a polite-ish way to share your pooping plans for the week. It’s like saying “I’m volunteering for terrible diarrhea this week, so look out bathroom!”

Sorrynotsorry to be that asshole, but the “Lauren” is the modal name, not the median name. Median is middle, so on that list, it would be the average of “Jubilee” and “Lace”, so “Juce”? I wouldn’t put it past them to bring on a 29th cast member named “Juice” so we can reassess Bachelorette statistics then.

My first quarter of college, I only talked to my parents about once every three weeks. I was so incredibly homesick and depressed that if I let myself talk to my parents or my high school friends too much, I knew I wouldn’t get used to college or make any new friends. I’d just be miserable forever. Getting some…

I was a privileged kid at a top-tier private university and friends with some other privileged kids and some less privileged kids. Having a socio-economically diverse group of friends makes you hyper aware of what your privileges are, but not necessarily more likely to acknowledge them outloud in all discussions of…

Whatever’s free/cheap, comfortable, and covers my private parts. My brother’s basketball shorts from before his growth spurt. Giant t-shirts from volunteering. Costco bathing suits (apparently you can get Speedos there for like $20). I have zero vanity wrt exercise gear and/or couch time.

I don’t have an instagram account and I am done with wedding nonsense since I got married a couple years ago, but I would have followed Wedding Wire for the confessions. I needed more commiseration than inspiration.

In Stiff, Mary Roach talks about having your body freeze dried into fertilizer. That sounds nice but also like it’s probably super inefficient. If that were efficient, I might be into it. Otherwise really it’s up to the living people. I know people like for the dead person to have made a choice so that the living…

“Just because you think she’s perfect doesn’t mean you have to talk about it. I’m not saying you have to tip-toe around me and never say anything that might potentially hurt my feelings, I’m just asking you to stay off this particular topic.”

Ah! The joys of KNOWING you’re not great looking. Whatever chick my husband is ogling is definitely better looking than I am. No need for me to stare at her or concern myself about it. I know he’s not with me for my jiggly ass. He’s down with it, but it’s not why he’s here.

You don’t get to have an opinion UNLESS SOMEONE ASKS YOU FOR IT. This is me soliciting your opinion, but not about birthing plans, instead, about bra shopping.

I know this was aside from the point and whatnot but I have 2cents and this is the internet...

Why not just send him to a land where English is not spoken? Then he can do all his yapping without any of the harm. It’ll be like having an ignorant Macaw in your home. Who cares? It’s a Macaw and I don’t speak bird.

For the price of all that china, I could almost go to China, which would be preferable.

Why is the Jody Highroller one in there twice?