Incompetent, reckless, and negligent, but not criminal. That is an exoneration any POTUS candidate should be proud to run on.

*looks down at spare tired* *sighs* *continues eating mac n cheese*

I mean, I’m failing to see how or why Swift’s physical attractiveness is even a subject.

Fun fact — when Vivien Leigh couldn’t summon a remotely believable retching sound for the turnip eating/fist shaking scene, Olivia stepped up and so that’s her we hear.

They are a self insured company

It’s not frivolous because it is a loss. Frivolous has a highly specific meaning in legal terms.

According to many a lawyer-adjacent commenter here: it’s just a tactic, GAWD. WHY GET SO UPSET BY HOW THE LAW WORKS! GAWD.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

I should probably go to this place and test out the dough before i tell my, um...my friend about it. So i know its good before my totally real and not fake friend with their several real children go there.

I took a class called Assisted Reproductive Technologies and the Law and my mom got phone calls or text messages like that every Tuesday after class. Just, “Hey, in case anyone ever needs evidence of my intentions, you are not allowed to harvest my eggs from my dead body and then use them to have a grandchild. If you…

I buy those and tell myself I’ll only eat a couple of squares a day. And then last night. I ate half of them, some garlic parmesan pretzel chips and had some wine for dinner because I’m really good at this adult thing.

If the FDA would like to recommend a better way to eat my feelings I’d love to hear it.

You can pry that cookie dough out of my cold dead e. coli-covered hands.

raw cookie dough >>>>>> cookies

I was gonna be like “You should get them to use something else because girls run from the smell of Axe.” but then I was like, “Wait, maybe this is good parenting strategy?” Carry on, sir.

EMTs do this all the time. Three joked and laughed and passed a phone back and forth over a friend’s dying but still conscious body

I can almost guarantee that before camera was rolling she and the camera man were casually chatting as they drove up. Their lives weren’t just shattered, they needed to have reporter faces on for the segment but were otherwise going about a day at the office.

I pick option 4.

He’s not using it to moisturize, though.

but rather a size 8 or 10,