So an octopus can unscrew a jar from the inside. Big deal.

At least it’s an ethos.

Marc Jacobs controls everything!

“I am a Cancer sun with a Libra moon and Gemini rising, which is my astrological way of telling future lovers that they best get on board with crazy.”

Yes, she’s mentioned that she wants to call the baby Adrian (he has his father’s eyes).

I am getting so anxious watching that. She’s already failed a standard field sobriety test.

Hoechlin?

This administration’s legacy: Trickle-down inappropriate touching.

He’ll try to make it work for the sake of the cats.

Send him one first?

It’s like he’s the Road Runner and we’re Wyle E. Coyote. Every fucking week.

And no longer be able to tell silver and gold apart! He’ll approve all of his bath fixtures in chrome!!

It’s about the implication.

Oh shit, that was today???

If you are a lowly on-the-bubble Congresscritter, maybe your driver’s instructions shouldn’t be longer than the tour rider for Spinal Tap?

Have you tried being a white male? I hear that goes over well in interviews.

I call him Vice President Mother Fucker.

I say all this to show that while it’s an America that you may not recognize, this is the only type of America I’ve ever known.

“No gorm, no hap!”

From Amazon, written by “A. Person”: