I'm pretty sure if this happened elsewhere, the owner would've been found. The owner's corpse clinging to the safe.

And then you get stuck behind the arthritic 75 year old, whose bike is atop of the bike-ferris wheel. Patience will be tried

"...I'm sad to report, involves kittens doing something adorable"

Not lying. I prefer not knowing.

As I've told my girlfriends and wife. I don't mind if you cheat. I do mind if you tell me. Blind heart, knows no pain.

"The elevator is stuck".

My first one was a Motorola WR850G, which I installed mini DD WRT.

No, icons come from poppy seeds that grow in the hoofs of unicorns, after they stepped on fecal matter left by, no other than your own mother. Surprise you didn't know that

Just what I needed, another reason for a girl to call me a pig.

I'll do you one better.

Do bear in mind that the iOS icon grid was derived from Palm OS. Until WebOS they didn't bother to polish until iOS came about.

I knew my baby girl was going to have to do the chores around the house, but I didn't know I could start this early.

This the exact mechanism of Polymyxin B. And that isn't very safe on human.

This akin to making a xylophone out of human bones and playing it front of a crowd. Kind of insensitive. *hugs tree*

In America we don't use kilos, please convert to a unit we can understand.

I don't have time for comforting methods before I do my job. Besides, it brought a nice texture out of you.

Red Bull gives you Wings

I love when I give my patients false positives. " turns out you didn't have ____ after all"