The guy I lost my virginity to is now a plastic surgeon at an Ivy League med school.

It involved bunkbeds and gravity.

They're how you find your way through the snowdrifts.

They were probably taking time to carefully vet the interviews and make sure whatever they published was accurate. You know - what journalistic publications are SUPPOSED to do.

I've taken acting class from Macy (who wants to touch me?), and I 100 percent believe this. One of the nicest guys I've ever met.

Miss you, you big dummy.

Don Cheadle's costumes were amazing!

last time I got a flu shots my arm swelled up 3xs the size, and I had to go to the er because I was having an allergic reaction to something in the flu shot. And then for several weeks, my arm hurt like hell.

Sounds more like you're an asshole than someone breached the rules of common decency.

Look, some people have bad butt gaskets and can't help it. The older you get, the worse it is. Parts wear out, and for some people, they can do everything possible and the fart will still come out.

I sit near someone at work who rips huge farts all day long. He wears headphones, so I think he must figure they're silent.

Poor Toby. The only one who never got cute and never got laid. Toby solidarity!

I'm hoping this means he was "adopted" as an adult to clear up issues about who would succeed them if they died and not that he ever thought of them as his parents, because ew.

Someone needs to tell the Parents Television Council that you can get all these old specials on DVD and let your kids watch them, free from any commercials or any hint of "lingerie."

THESE ARE MY FAVORITE KINDS OF POSTS!!!!

Or a Duggar. He looks like a young Jim Bob.

Is that a... paperclip? Clothing tag hook? WHAT IS IT

Here's Mike. What the ever-loving fuck?