Who gives a fuck about what this shrunken drone thinks.

I am not surprised that Courtney Love's, Lana Del Rey's and Naomi Campbell's destination that night was the Damned Ball.

Oh, Spencer, stop fishing for compliments. No one is going to say, "No, you and Heidi are the cutest couple."

Man, I'm glad I'm not the only one who does the 'rabbit rabbit' thing. Thanks, Clarissa!

I amused myself by making up patently false Mockingjay spoilers and shouting them at a colleague. Although now I'm disappointed that Mockingjay doesn't end with Katniss being eaten by a pterodactyl (SPOILERS)

So Lisa Rinna is skinny enough to shop at Lululemon. FML. Drove by there today and told Prince Sarcasm this time next year I'll be shopping there. Love seeing Lana Del Rey smile, though!

Maybe Mindy should read the book, then she'll be prepared for what happens ahead of time.

*dwarves, she said dwarves. Man, Del Toro and Jackson wanted to Make the Silmarillion, they should have just done that, instead of inserting a bunch of half-assed CG action scenes into an already bastardized version of the Hobbit. *mumble grumble*

A phrase Ms. Montenegro needs to use more often. Her vagina will thank her.

Every time a man puts a my little pony in a jar and jizzes into that jar for months, an angel catches on fire and dies.

That is freaking unacceptable. What do we have to do to get worldwide respect for women? This shit needs to stop.

Nellie had it coming.

Any reality tv d-lister would be lucky to end up like Snooki.

Sriracha, hollondaise, Worcestershire, hoisin and tartar. Five sauce.

I gotta say, props to Snooki for not turning into a train wreck. She got a lot of shit for being an out of control mess when she was younger, and she is still an insatiable attention whore, but she looks like a good mom with a good partner. Her show with J Woww is so unbelievably boring because they are now just…

My three year old upon seeing this, "I WANT ONE THOSE COWS!"

My friend was sexually assaulted at a college party one night, so her boyfriend found the guy's home phone number and called his mother in the middle of dinner to tell him what he had done.

You had never seen a person repent so fast before.

I just want to throw this out there, I have a really weird obsession with 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship videos on YouTube. That is all.