Last week on SNS I posted about my father’s impending death, and so many of you replied to me with your own stories of dealing with dying loved ones. It was more helpful than you can imagine. I just wanted to update and say that my dad died early on Sunday morning, about 10 hours after I posted my story here. It was…

I know science can’t seem to decide on whether there’s a genetic component to MS, but I’m convinced that there is. My father had it, and so did his sister. I’ve known others with more than one relative that had it as well. Honestly, I’ve chosen not to waste my time worrying on whether or not I eventually get it. There…

Up until this past Sunday, my father spent the past 35 years living with Progressive MS. The disease had progressed to the point where he was barely able to move, and was having issues swallowing. About a month ago we found out he also had lung cancer. There was no way his body could have dealt with chemo, and because…

I’m thinking I might end up being this way as well. As I stated upthread, I am worried about how the rest of my family will think of me if I don’t break down in front of them. Many of them are very emotional, and it’s just not in my nature to be that way in public. I don’t think I’ll get through everything without…

I don’t think it’s selfish at all. Like I said in my original post, I’m a very pragmatic person. When your quality of life is degraded so severely, I’m a firm believer that it’s much better for everyone involved to just let go. It only took two days of seeing my dad like this for my aunts to start saying things to me…

It’s a very sad club of people who’ve watched their loved ones decline from diseases like this. My dad first started showing symptoms of MS was he was 20; he’s now just shy of 61. When I was really young it just made him tired a lot, and then it progressed to problems with balance and walking, and then LOTS of…

Right after we found out he almost certainly had cancer, my dad had a biopsy procedure done. His pulmonologist was very upfront and told all of us that there was a chance he was too weak to survive the procedure. I made sure to tell him I loved him before he was taken back to be put under. I feel assured that we’re…

Tell me about it. I once had a co-worker who’s wife got bone marrow cancer on top of MS. She suffered for several years. I hate to say it but perhaps my dad has been lucky in that when all is said and done he won’t have had to have suffered with the strain of both diseases for very long.

To be honest, it’s the cancer that’s killing my dad, but the MS is the reason why he decided not to fight it. Even before the cancer he was at the point where he could barely move. It’s truly no way to live at all.

When I’ve been away from my parent’s house for even a few minutes the last few days, and even over the course of this horrible month when I’ve just been trying to work or continue what’s going on in my life, I’ve felt horribly guilty by how much I just want to forget this is even happening. It got to the point where I…

You make a very good point. I have friends who’ve confessed to me that their siblings are useless and never help out with anything. I think I just feel very isolated being the only child in this situation. Wish there was someone else I could talk to who knows what it was like to grow up with a parent with MS, and how…

I’m very conflicted as to whether I should stay or go. My mom is encouraging me to go home if I want to, but I don’t want to leave her here alone when he passes (though she swears she’ll be fine). On the other hand, we’re wondering if maybe dad isn’t letting go because he’d rather be by himself. It’s so hard to know…

Jesus, I’m sorry you had to go through that. In some ways I wish my dad was in the hospital, as I feel so helpless listening to him cough and try to get air/clear the crap in his throat. I think I would feel better if we were surrounded by professionals, but he wanted to stay home, and I’m glad we (who am I kidding,…

That’s exactly what my dad’s nurses said. Which is difficult to do since he’s at home and my mom is his caregiver, and has been instructed to give him morphine once an hour (hospice only comes during the week for a few hours to help with bathing, checking vitals, etc.). I’m hoping maybe he’ll go while they’re both…

I’m so sorry you had to go through this too. My mom is a tough cookie, I’m sure she’ll get there eventually, it’s the getting there I’m worried about. For decades she’s had the role of caretaker for my father, and I’m not sure she’s going to know what to do with herself for a very long time. My aunts have discussed…

I appreciate everything you’ve said, and will try to take it to heart. I truly believe that the family and friends of people with neurological diseases are the only ones who really understand how bad things get. I wish more people understood how difficult it is to live with Parkinson’s, MS, ALS, Huntington’s…

I really have no experience with this disease, there hasn’t been any cancer in my immediate extended family (plenty of other distressing conditions, but no cancer). Now I know why the world is so bitter and angry when it comes to cancer. And fuck anyone who doesn’t believe in right-to-die. I’m guessing those who don’t…

Thank you. And I have to say, that’s the best screen name I’ve seen on here in a long time.

Good god. What is it with the tongue thing? My youngest pappy can’t ever seems to keep his tongue in his head-it’s almost like it’s too long or something. Kudos to you for digging this one up. :)

Two of my mother’s sisters spent the night last night, and there has been a number of friends and family stopping by to help out over the past few days. They backed off a bit today, as it seemed like my dad was more restless/agitated when they were here, and seemed to sleep better when the house was emptier. Our…