This reads word for word like a Simpsons-esque parody of a dangerously crooked theme park. If you made it up, no one would find it plausible.

Oh, the trolls, the trolls, the trolls! Sgt. Pepper! Miles Davis! WILCO!!!

I once had a makeout sesh with Conan on in the background. I kept getting distracted by the jokes. This is where it can be advantageous for the background TV to not be too bland, because eventually someone will say, “Let’s kill the TV and move this party to the bedroom.” Aw yeah.

“Appalled British Man” is squarely within the wheelhouse of my sexuality. His politics just seal the deal.

So take your rabbit and suck your butt with it.