Cubs fans are annoying bitches, and I drink their misery

Holy shit! Do you know what this means!?

I’d love to see a whole gallery of gloriously shitty, probably not-licensed, TJ-Maxx bought, alternate jerseys.

(Just, y’know, look for some middle relievers in western Romania)

As a White Sox fan, I was pissed when someone read this to me.

Fuck the Cubs. Fuck Andre Dawson. Fuck Wrigley Field. Fuck The Ivy. Fuck Harry Carey. Fuck Moises Alou. Fuck Joe Maddon. Fuck Sketchers Shoes. Fuck The Curse of the Billy Goat. Fuck Eric Stoltz. And Most Importantly Fuck You.

At least they put us out of our misery in the first inning.

Yes

Also a good idea to invite Joe Maddon over, because he’ll have a trunkful of free booze from Binny’s.

Sadly, Joe Madden then had a heart attack chasing the kids around with one in his mouth.

“Mom, mom! Can I go over to Anthony’s house after baseball? He has the new Madden game and his dad said we could get pizza. Everyone’s going. Can I go? Please, mom? Please?”