I do have real moisturizer, which, like my conditioner, is a remnant of an ex-girlfriend who used it religiously and would not go a night without it. I tried using it to masturbate once, obviously, but I would not recommend it:

Here’s the gif I made for another thread. Believe it or not, not very difficult to find Bernie facial expressions that look like Snow White singing.

And it was totally his completely bland, uncomfortable performance that made him fantastic. I will never ever love anything more than Winter Sports Cavalcade.

Also this.

I found the “I can’t be racist because I have a black friend” guy!

I have seen what lung cancer does when it gets into the brain, and it is not super great. Best wishes to Big Ang and her family for comfort and peace.

I’m sorry, but referncing anything at Breibart automatically excludes you from the “To Be Taken Seriously” category.

props to 90-yr old Michigan’s ex-Rep. Dingell for trolling so well

Wow, tell us more

To be fair, this is the type of next-level problem-solving that landed Tom Hanks and that other guy that really sweet apartment...

“I mean, geez, it’s not like anyone gave a shit about the genocide of the Native Americans while it was happening. Why should we care now?” -you

no one gives a s**t until someone gives a s**t

And an episode of L&O, only it was the wife of a military drug war guy bringing in drugs from Colombia, season 11, White Lie.

Thank you for allaying my fears. I was deeply concerned about where they might find another bleach blonde, pearl clutching, brain dead, reactionary shriek freak! Phewwwww, that was close.

It’s weird. I know that as a child of the 80s, I am the product of years of THE WORLD’S MOST TERRIFYING ADVERTISING about HIV/AIDS. Those TV ads here in the UK were honestly trouser-wettingly scary for a young brain, and the fear they inculcated in my generation was real, man. It went deep. Still does. And even though…

"I think she likes sex already."

va chier Doug

Oh god, dog people are the worst. I was dragged to all sorts of shows when I was a kid, they are almost as bassackward as Republicans. When I first saw best in show I truly didn't understand it was a comedy bc I had already met some incarnation of every single character.

I worked in doctors office. I collected the paper that held the diagnoses for you after you saw the doctor as well as your co-pay. When I told a guy his copay was 10 dollars, he gave me a "bill" and told me to keep the change and basically bolted out.