I also know you soccer nerds seem to think how much you complain directly correlates to how cool you appear.

Because it is played on foot as opposed to on horseback.

Sam: "I dunno, Coach. Even washed-up golfers are giving me shit. This is a really difficult time for me..."

Anyone who would argue on favor of a charge call on a made basket to tie it in the closing seconds is obviously a pedophile, or from Florida (but I repeat myself).

We should have a duel of some kind. Duel between d-league and nba dunkers. If d-leaguer wins then he gets a contract with an nba team and one of the nba dunkers gets demoted. Also the trophy could be some sort of dual-headed dildo.

What's crazy is that Messi is also still very much the future of this rivalry too. He's only 2 years older than Gareth Bale