We all await your actual argument.

Use of "haters" in official correspondence is always a sign of legitimacy.

Oh, good lord. He clearly had that "crosswords and tiddlywinks" response all drawn up in his head. Probably been sitting on it for weeks.

I smoke every time I play tennis. I'm pretty good. I don't understand how it helps, but it helps.

Embarrassed to admit this made me chuckle

"I don't mean to be conceited — we just do the most things."

Any post titled "You Should Be Paying Attention to..." gets filed right along with "You're Doing It Wrong" and "You Won't Believe What Happens Next."

Discount fair? He's going to Action Park?

"I have fanned the front of my ass"

The numbering thing simply does not work. It's to the point of distraction. I can barely read the piece because I'll I'm thinking is "why are these paragraphs numbered? For what reason?"

This made me laugh harder than anything in that video (read: it made me laugh).

Herman Cain saying he wanted to make snacks for the Highlander marathon. The single humorous part of any of this whole suit of videos.

This lasts forever and I really do want to laugh because generally I like funny things and the headline said this was funny and and and

I'm guessing you are also totally "random," "interesting," and "unique."

OH ZING! What an Internet burn! Ow, too hot!

Oh my goodness. Did you really take the time to respond to everyone notifying you of your idiotic original post? Yowza.

If you want to reduce Deadspin to a "sports website," then, as Slate might say, You're Doing It Wrong.

That is a serious insult to George Costanza.

Are there really people that hate Nickelback that *don't* hate Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Florida Georgia Line, etc.? Calling them all the same is not exactly a revelation.

A potential fumble on the very next play is all I can think of. I guess the question is whether or not there is at least a .5% chance of that happening?