That guy is such a pig fuck asshole.

Movie Trailer Atypically Doesn’t Give Away Entire Plot

I need Whoopi’s strawberry sweater. I need that in my life so much.

Yeah, I’ve eaten at Comet Ping Pong many times and had intended to go eat there again to support it. I don’t think I can anymore, and I kind of think this is going to be it for the restaurant. It’ll go out of business pretty soon because of this.

I mean your posting to jez, which begs the question is the fucking even good?

how about you get every star in the world, times infinity?

How about the ladies just stop fucking Republicans?

I bet his shit would fuck our world up. #richpeopleweed

This one is my favorite:

I love mayo with frittes.

Annnnd here is the contact information for the hon. Judge Gary J. Gilman, if you would care to voice your displeasure at his less than judicious ruling to allow a violent criminal who posed an active danger to another person free:

“Y’all can suck a fart out my ass for all I care.”

I would flush twice. Just to up the awkwardness factor.

I had to pause for a minute to remember which wealthy rapist brat who got away with a slap on the wrist after expressing no remorse whatsoever from a judge who was more concerned about his future than his victim’s Owen Labrie actually was. Took me three tries to land on the right case.

he took a wheel in ibiza

Dingdingding!!

when your skin gets too brown

If I had sat on the beach wearing a rash guard with my legs covered while wearing a hat, because hey there sunburn-prone skin, would that have constituted a burkini under the law? Would my hat have to be fastened under my chin? Would the rash guard have to be all one color or slightly flowier? Exactly at what point…

Big deal.

100% of those surveyed who believe sexism is no longer a problem followed their answer, unprompted, with: “do you even know what it’s like in Saudi?” Then they shared a meme about how nice guys never get the girl.