On every God in the universe, both known to man and unknown, if a devil pulled a whip out at work he would definitely have to use it on me. Definitely.

I have a learning disability and being forced to read Furkan Korkmaz over and over almost made my nose and ears bleed.

I take issue with your first sentence. Kids suck. And people who say otherwise are people who have kids and want the rest of us to suffer.

First time I saw her in Horrible Bosses I thought “Who is that fine ass redbone?”

“I’m Creole and I don’t know how to cook without spice.”

I’ve been having this conversation with friends. We had a friend in college who was accused of sexual assault. And we all rallied to his defense. 20 years later we all realize that he most likely did that shit. And had to basically cut him off.

He’s 31...

This guy thinks shes an amateur.

And his Afro is on Angela Davis status.

If I’m Billy Bush I’m coming at him like “And My Unk said you’re a bitch. You bitch you.”

Yeah. Can we get an investigation into this? Because this is like a bad movie plot and if we find out the judge has a connection to this Charlie Mack character...

Nah. Stop. Reread what I said. I never said all devils are white people.

Yup. Same thing. The nerdy doctor is DEFINITELY on the same plane as Apu. Yup. Absolutely.

17% of men disagreed that that constituted as sexual harassment. (As for women, 91% of them agreed that being forced to do something sexual counted as sexual harassment.

No T.I.? I don’t know WHO he told on, but he told. Also, Jared Kushner needs a (dis)honorable mention.

The kind of special idiots that never had to attend class to get their degrees.

I’m not against this. Because if you can’t beat the nigga up who’s fucking your wife, go after his money.

Michael Flynn pulled up to Mueller’s office bumping Biggie. Like “I got a story to tell...”

I don’t think he knows what nuanced means.

Devils gonna be devils.