Man, these ad campaigns for new movies get more obtuse every year.

Most Super Bowls are C+ anyway, maybe B-.

Does this mean in another 50 years, they'll move on to Hebrew Numerals? I look forward to Super Bowl ק!

See, but then it's not a coin "flip." It's just a coin…repositioning. Might as well slide the thing along a table-top to decide things.

SUPER BOW: L

A ritual Brady euphemistically refers to as "Ballghazi."

And airline food, can we discuss what's up with that as well?

Technically speaking, isn't every postseason game do or die time for each team?

Speaking as someone who still has all kinds of Simms love from when he was the quarterback of the team that I grew up with: he is a man who should not be allowed near a live microphone.

Is it too late to get Robert Durst and Rob Gronkowski to become friends?

I think it was more a case of Larry Fitzgerald deciding he'd had enough of this "ongoing game bullshit." If there were football gods, I doubt they'd allow Tom Brady to have such a cherry life.

I bet you hate how long it takes Bleacher Report to post about the latest episode of The Good Wife, too.

I tried to edit together a supercut of all the most delightful, over-the-top ejaculations of "whaaoooww" and "augh my GAUGHD" that came out of Cris Collinsworth's mouth over the course of that Arizona/Green Bay game. But it became too much of a task for me to find edit points that would render the whole digestible to…

They should just run Wesley Willis songs under the entire film, from start to finish.

Harley Quinn is a psycho hose-beast.

The use of the song was the most abrasive thing about the trailer, and it wasn't just because of how they manipulated the tempo or punctuated the drums with ammunition.

The slipper-fitting scene at the end was more fetishy than I'd anticipated.

A squishy white dude between two Grahams? We call that a "brittle s'more."

But who put the ADO in McAdoo?

"Kiiiiids…are peeeeople tooo…
McAdoo, McAdoo, McAdoo!"