The man do love him some booze.

Hey, c'mon. She rarely says bad things about you when we're together.

Really? In that case DEATH TO THE ALTON!!!

I wish I had the patience, space or equipment to try the things that man does to prep his large main courses. I've been dreaming of working up his turkey deep-fryer rig for years now.

Yeah, well what do you know? You're made of people.

So I just learned.

Dude's a pilot too. Between that and the meticulousness he brings to his cooking (even when he does stuff with fire extinguishers and hand tools and the like), I'd say he's really one safe guy.

No kidding? I hadn't heard that.

Since before he had a show. She was the producer of Good Eats from the very beginning. They have a daughter together.

He's really great on the version of Iron Chef he hosted. Lots of appreciation for food artistry coupled with dollops of history and common-sense explanations of prep and skill.

Thing is, he's a seriously committed family man and quite unobtrusively religious.

It could use…a little more…zazz.

Oh yeah? Well why don't you marry movies?

You might be a while. I'll just pop some Wait Mate while you're dealing with them.

The Vegetti begs to differ.

The only Italian Renaissance artist whose chosen medium was macaroni art?

Glove and Boots is where I learned of the Rollie's existence. Having puppets make fun of its tragic futility was the best way I could have discovered this product without wanting to blow my brains out of my skull.

Or even sensual.

If it were a Cinco product, they'd call it a C'urd.

Sort of a slight disconnect between this post and what the video actually shows Alton doing. Obviously he's not a fan of these "tools," but he's addressing the Amazon reviewers for the most part, not the kitchen products themselves. Still, a snide Alton is a fun Alton.