And then I'll run up to a church tower and begin throwing rocks at innocent bystanders.

I bet Jacob Hester leaves his kid unattended for days at a time.

@OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChrist...: Good post, and I agree.

@Phintastic: Not to mention that they were practicing outside because Kelly has some sort of aversion to practicing inside. He was obviously oblivious to any potential hazards due to the weather, even though he had moved practice inside the day before.

@David Stern but Fair: This practice was outside. The article said they practiced inside on Tuesday.

Nothing funny about this. I feel terrible for that poor kid and his family.

Dear Santa,

The blurs behind him make sense when you realize that his head has its own gravitational pull, and those objects are just rotating around it.

@THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY: Nice.

Ejaculate on random women reading in the library.

That headline is hilarious. Like there's gonna be any cocaine left after Josh Hamilton hits the neighborhood.

Al Roker couldn't figure out why he caught so much flak for his The storm is looking hot tweet while researching the tropical depression off the Cape Verde islands.

@grayflannelsuit: No, but I'd be happy to do a Celtics diary, since I could reuse "orca slap fight" when Shaq and Big Baby Davis start bickering over minutes.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I knew you'd deliver in this thread.

The most incriminating white powder Miami has seen since Scarface.

I worked in a video game store for many years, and once saw two extremely overweight gentlemen, one of whom had a pony tail, get into what can only be described as an orca slap fight because they both wanted the last copy of an Everquest expansion. The sound of these two men grunting as they tussled through the store…

From the grace of God I didn't get chosen #1 just because.

something about his late father, and something about a brand of clothing

The most impressive thing was the guy who snuck into the chamber and held up the Washington State flag.

Legend has it that anytime somebody allows the flag to touch the ground Ryan Leaf gets fired from another job.