@resplendent.bitch: Nah, we really don't like working there and we're just going to leave the Gawker family mid-season.

That's the Power of Poop

Linda in Tampa thinks he's only getting press coverage because he's a Jew.

@NotMyFirstRo-Day-O: Nice.

You're doing it wrong.

I don't give a shit about the Patriots or the Vikings, but goddamn it Tom Brady is my fantasy quarterback, and when I woke up this morning to hear that his big-play guy was traded...well, shit. You might as well have told me my kid has lupus.

@Sonar Jose: That's the thing that irritates me today at my office. People have been saying "Well, they still have Welker", and my response is "Yeah, let's see how great Welker is when the other team isn't commiting their best corner and rolling a safety over to account for Moss's deap threat".

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: You kill me.

I'm trying to figure out who's more delusional: Joe Frazier or the guy who airbrushed DJ Pauly D's pants.

Red Sox owner John Henry is precipitously close to buying Liverpool FC from another MLB owner

any major decision, expenditure, et cetera, we make as a collaborative effort

I hardly think an illicit press room kiss with Jeff Garcia counts as fucking the whole team.

fun-sized pigment curio

I could snort peanut dust while banging a cat

@I Like Cheap Beer: That was hilarious. And congrats on the star.

Great Moments in Poop History

Me, goatee, security.

Me: goatee, security. That drunk guy in section 153? I totally threw him out. That was me. I also roll up the sleeves on my t-shirt with SECURITY printed on the back, because it makes my arms look big. I have a hard time talking to girls, but the equipment in my sex dungeon is always polished because I respect you.

@Yogs: I was always amazed at the dichotomy that existed within him, like you said "the violent and the loving". He is a man capable of enduring and inflicting incredible physical violence (see his Japanese death matches), but the next day will ride rollercoasters for hours with his children.

@The_International_Poise_Conspi...: I like to keep it tasteful.