NSFWBOOBSANDPENIS

Ladies, ladies, ladies. You have to look at this from a man's point of view. If you don't have the common decency to maintain peak freshness in your lady-bits, how can I trust you to provide me with fresh coffee on a daily basis? This is really a very practical advertisement.

my dad keeps looking at porn on the computer

@-MasterDex-: Your obviously very strong feelings about video games being blamed for antisocial/criminal behavior are skewing your perspective and judgement here. Of course the police are looking at the game. They need a motive, and considering all his neighbors and classmates described him as a good kid, there…

@dirtybee: Wouldn't your cousin's kid be your 2nd cousin, not your niece?

@Spicy Armadillo: Oh, they're absolutely social. She needs to be sitting/lying right next to my wife or myself. Although, like yours, she's great in her crate at night. And she's great with my 18-month old daughter, who has yet to realize that the dog is not a pillow.

@Spicy Armadillo: I also have a pug, and I'm not sure how much attention she really needs. She pretty much just lays on the sofa and licks her paws. Loudly.

@Phintastic: Jesus Christ do you get starred and de-starred every day?

only winning by the length of a penis

Good luck Sidney. If Roethlisberger couldn't close the deal with Tebow, I don't know what your chances are.

Sadly, the only Oscar Kat ever took home was a barback from the Chili's on West Hollywood.

to settle his myriad paternity suits

I'm kind of a Pacer.

Remember that time they had to forfeit a playoff game because the only arena they could get had baskets of uneven height?

@vodkanaut: +1

So, seriously, please stop bombarding me with this stuff.

you've done everything possible to foist yourself and your widgets upon me in a way that's both dastardly and not helpful

He'll have the last laugh when the league is defunct in 3 years.

The best part is when Mr. Miyagi takes the pen out of his breast pocket and stabs the guy in the eye with it.

This is not to be confused with Great Moments in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Hairstyles: The Fade.