More likely an episode of Hoarders.

Maybe it’s because I’m a manly man with manly tissue needs (and a huge honker), but I kinda like the graphic design on that box. That plus the sheer ridiculousness of gendered snot rags makes me want one, not to use but just to keep as a satirical object d’art.

Is it wrong that I don’t hate this? I mean, maybe I’m just comparing it to the abomination that was that Hello Kitty song, but I didn’t find this unpleasant to listen to. I bet if some of the more obvious religious references were a bit more toned down and the “I’m surviving Lyme disease” were played up instead, it…

I don’t know this for sure, but I suspect the archive probably still exists. I’d be willing to bet that what they really mean by “deleted” is that nobody wanted to pay to host the material anymore.

I may have missed this, so I thought I’d check:  That orange turd wrote the million dollar check to charity that he promised Elizabeth Warren, right?  I mean, he’s known for being honorable in his business dealings, so I assume it’s already in the mail.

I feel like the big schnoz would just gently push pedestrians to the left or right, where dozens of them could be cradled in the giant indentations until those areas got full and the driver had to stop and clear them out.

When these immigrants come into the country, we’re not getting their best people. I’m not saying she’s in the Slovenian version of MS-13, but I’m not not saying that.

Thanks for the info. I guess I should have known: When school shootings are common, the best solution is to start building bathroom bunkers. Add thoughts and prayers, and you’re all set! (At least for the cis kids.)

I feel like Pig Pen shouldn’t have been dragged into this.  I’d much prefer he have a position in the administration.  Poor guy was just a little dusty.

Besides the obvious WTFery of this situation, can anyone explain why bathrooms would be the pinnacle of safe havens during a school shooting? All the bathrooms in my school had only one door, and the windows, if they existed, were not big enough for a person to escape out of. Seems more like a good way to get kids…

My hot take: I’m rooting for the Shaggy. Why? Because ICP’s music is easily avoided, whereas, on occasion, I have been forced to listen to that Limp Bizkit song where Durst just says “Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’!” over and over for what feels like 45 minutes. May Shaggy’s foot find its target.

I was sexually assaulted in college—although it took me almost 20 years to even realize that’s what you call what happened to me—and after that, the few brief relationships I had were marked by spiking levels of anxiety and panic in intimate situations. I’m a guy, and even though I’ve always been far from being a…

The nerd in me was frustrated at the lack of detail in the Times article, so if anybody’s wondering how this works, here’s a link with more info:

I think if we’re being honest, even if he did write “Rape girlz at party,” it still wouldn’t matter.  They’d just retreat to the “youthful indiscretions--which he confessed to his calendar!--so we shouldn’t ruin his career blah blah” defense.

So according to everyone quoted in this article, if you’re white and rich, your entire time in high school is basically The Fucking Purge with no consequences for the rest of your life? Oh, right. That’s pretty accurate.

My guess? He bought the in-theory more expensive cars for cheap because they already had three wheels in the junkyard. If he was cool with watching cheaper-but-decent cars rot away to garbage, I doubt he’d be so discriminating with his buying when it came to what he added to the hoard.

Yup. Here’s the breakdown:

I like how everybody is claiming “juvenile offender, doesn’t count!” when most states have been happily lowering the age kids can be tried as an adult...well, poor kids, anyway.

Somewhere, Tyra is yelling, “She’s Breast-pump-smiling-with-her-eyes, or as I call it, Brepusmize(tm)! I came up with that.”

That struck me, too. Please don’t speak for all of us men, White House lawyer. In this regard, I have nothing to worry about because I haven’t ever sexually assaulted anyone.  That doesn’t make me a special person.  That just means I meet one of the basic requirements for not being a garbage human.