So you’re used to voting for politicians who lose to dip shits then...

Not Robert Shaw, I can tell ya that much!

Seriously: what the fuck is going on?

I don’t see a car. All I see is one of those magic eye paintings...

She was already dead!

“OTOH, I do respect the Windsors’ conduct during the Second World War.”

That’s a lot of goddamn stitches in this particular case...

Sounds like you were caught between the sun and New York City.

You need to talk to Gregg Turkington about this...

Nah, I’m gonna overlook it...

Assault is a misdemeanor in Virginia? I mean, I think we can agree that jaywalking should be a misdemeanor, but assault?

“Do these manly men look at a scrubbed male surgeon and think, ‘what a sissy!’?”

This is where some punctuation would come in handy...

Now was it Urkel or Urquelle?

FUN FACT: Jerry Orbach is now the most dead of the Beauty and the Beast cast...

Yeah, but the genie had a reputation for stealing jokes, er references, from other comedians, er genies...

Only in Hollyweird!

“...is synecdoche for the hypocrisy of the entertainment industry at large.”

Then by that measure we’re all scientists...