Dear Salty: Can you teach me how to tie my shoe laces?

Can confirm...

I suspect some of the people who write in have trouble tying their own shoes...

“She refused to let us throw it out, but we made sure to warn everyone not to eat it.”

Boy, I really hope someone got brutally dismembered for that blunder...

Yeah, but he was just pourrrred into those ill-fitting leather pants...

And looks a bit like an out of shape Freddie Mercury...

Okay, Mr. Smartypants, but what are the odds of a child getting struck by lightning while sitting in a car seat?

It’s obviously a sandwich!

That’s Ricky from Better Off Dead, right?

Hitler’s always dickin’ around with the radio too!

It’s a miracle that this link still works almost 7 years later...

I usually don’t advocate violence, but the drunk driving alone suggests that he badly needs to get the christ kicked out of him...

Do you think Valerie is the same girl she used to be?

BOOM! STEVE WINWOOD!

It reminds me of Ralph Wiggum’s sex education book, Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the Closet making Babies and I Saw one of the Babies and the Baby looked at Me!

It’s so damn hot.

And the first mainstream Hollywood film to show beanstalk penetration...

***Monty Python theme starts playing***

The Coriolis Effect is my least favorite Robert Ludlum novel...