Counter-Counterpoint: all eggs are disgusting unless mixed into a batter of some sort.

I wish I could claim to have made it. Someone posted it on Gawker once and I tucked it away, sure that it would be useful one day. Sometimes, when no one is watching, I try to dance along with him.

“I know how eagerly you kids wait, counting down the days between my columns, rushing home after—I dunno, practice?—to tear through the opinion section twice a week.”

Is Handy Uber for handjobs?

I gave up on the whole dinosaur thing once they decided Brontosaurus didn’t have a second butt-brain.

This is why I travel with a hype man.

Sure, he’s a rabid conspiracy theorist with a taste for lynching imagery, but that beard tho.

I think I would rather have them crowd-sourcing the entire internet than depending on their own brain power.

I want to hate him, but I am too turned on now to think straight.

Adam knows a lot about holding the line.

Maybe Dr. Feelgood will hook him up with some downers before the debate.

I thought they were Skidz.

I don’t think you read the post closely enough. If you had you would have noticed that Selig used to work for a bank ergo he is a paragon of virtue for whom even rule-bending would be inconceivable.

Get it together, Ernesto.

Please don’t make me responsible for your child abuse.

Clinton’s people just responded by alerting Gohmenrt that if his hand is bigger than his face, he has cancer.