“You don’t bring me flowers... You don’t sing me love songs... You don’t unfurl giant posters of me and show them to business acquaintances... anymore.”

I once brought a carton of Munchkins In for my coworkers.

That chihuahua is incontinent, right?

Yes: three child-sized swarms of bees on each other’s shoulders dressed in a trench coat!

This. It’s the new dog-whistle politics, where politicians actively court the sub-reddit fringe group vote and said conspiracy nuts lap it up because its the first time they’ve been acknowledged by someone other than their own nutty friends. See also: “Hillary wants to be Merkel.”

Also, isn’t the inability to “choose the right words” the exact fucking definition of dysphasia?

Jzzzzt kdng ay stil eets thm.

He’s got a champagne saber duct-taped to his chin.

My feelings about GOP women are similar to John Mulaney’s thoughts on the drag queens in his neighborhood: “[W]hy, with so many drag queens, is it always the same type of woman? Why is it always like a big and brassy woman with like a beehive hairdo and alligator skin shoes? What is your notion of a woman based on? A…

“We used to have problems with Europeans wearing jeans, but they were always stylish jeans.”

That’s how you get ants.

The lady version of this essay has cream cheese and genitals, too, but adds a lot more body shame.

I worked in Editorial at Penguin for 7 years and I can say that most of my co-workers at the entry level weren’t wealthy, though almost all came from solidly professional class families. We made it work by living with 2-3 roommates. However, those who stayed in the business past the 5 year mark tended to be people…

Do you think the jeans will be designed to accentuate the diaper or to hide the diaper?

Oh god. Just googled “suburban Chicago diapers” and now I know about this:

I dunno. I still recall this story fondly. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/gro…

David Brooks analysis summation: NEEDZ MOAR SCRAPBOOKING

“Out-of-season fish, like wild salmon from Alaska, being sold “fresh” in winter months.”

Oh no you didn’t!