When asked where Mr. Chicken was Williams replied he was across the road.

If I do run for office I’m not getting your vote

I feel terrible for the those injured in the crash, and the poor woman in the photo who is smelling Curt’s armpit.

You’d have to have a pretty crazy reason to do something like this on purpose. Schilling’s just pointing out the obvious: the person responsible clearly had a loco motive.

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

3:13 PM: Trump announces launch of AskDonald.com, a new search engine which will answer any question with “Wrong…”, “I don’t say that…”, “Call up Sean Hannity…” and “Rosie O’Donnell deserves it and nobody feels sorry for her”!

“Tim Tebow overhits wide open center fielder”

And so it was on September 28 in the year of our lord 2016 AD that the anointed one did stepeth to the plate and, with one fell swoop, he doth smote the evil leather sphere, thus fulfilling the prophecy that he shall be the one to rise up and leadeth the righteous forces of the Metopolitians from the New Kingdom of…

Next time, first pitch, bean him.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Can we stop disparaging coke users by linking them to Donald Trump?

“Even as Mr. Trump’s advisers publicly backed him on Tuesday and praised his debate performance, they were privately awash in second-guessing about why he stopped attacking Mrs. Clinton on trade and character issues and instead grew erratic, impatient and subdued as the night went on.”

I, for one, am interested in learning new information as it is discovered.

Weed is chill and good. Coke is for assholes. It took me $1000 worth of of top shelf MDMA to figure this out.

Exclusive sneak preview of Trump at the next debate:

Quid pro blow...

You need people like me. So you can point you fucking fingers and say “That’s the bad guy”.

“My nasal cavities are yuge, just tremendous nasal cavities. They’re unbelievable cavities, the best, really. Just wait, you’re gonna love ‘em. They’re such great nasal cavities that, unfortunately, the slightest sound of air passing through them is picked up by a broken microphone. That’s the microphone’s fault. …

What a horrible, frightening experience for an innocent child. I can’t believe he had to watch a Mets game.

And I cannot believe no one has posted this yet.