So that’s what happens when you trade a diet of oxycontin, meth and Mountain Dew for cocaine and Mountain Dew. Good to know.

And your finest raw jelly beans

What are electrolytes? Do you even know?

I don’t know how you would have an actual winner in some of these, I could see the hairy-nosed wombat and screaming hairy armadillo just waddling around in circles sniffing each other until they both just lost interest and walked away.

Nintendo would obviously argue that the death is the fault of the victim for not using the Super Star.

Luckily random quotes from the Simpsons take up the space in my brain that most people use for useful knowledge.

It’s times like that I throw caution to the wind and loudly mutter to myself that someone that needs to pay for a $60 game in installments on a credit card shouldn’t own a credit card. As long as the person applying for the card isn’t like 6'6" in which case I just keep my damn mouth shut.

Amsterdam has a very low unemployment rate and several other benefits.

I for one welcome our new insect overlords.

I’m guessing he tossed in the mention of the girl being black to prove he loves black people and has never been racist, and the main problem is he isn’t smart enough to realize he just did the exact same thing he claimed to be racist. Or he did it on purpose and he’s hoping people call him racist for saying the girl…

I demand a time machine to test out this theory. I want the girl behind the counter to refer to him as the guy who didn’t even win on American Idol and see if said rant still gets made, possibly still claiming it to be racist.

That was the part that was just fantastic to me. You literally just went on a rant about being called a white guy, and to prove you don’t think of people by race just as people, you had to tell people you got a gift for a girl... a black girl. Way to sneak that one in there to prove you yourself aren’t racist but…

We had a Checkers here when I was younger, god I miss their burgers. The fries were amazing too.

That video just reminds me of my last trip to a sketchy strip club, although the bears have less body hair.

So despite the fact that Obama is looking directly at Trump, Trump is looking downwards. I’m guessing the most likely reasons are either A. He is ashamed of himself or B. he’s comparing his hand size to Obama’s.

Good job by those “I’m gonna make a point by voting independent” folks in Florida, as they make up more than the difference now. As usual I say fuck you, Florida.

I’ve had that same thought, although from what I hear he’s a huge germophobe so I doubt he ever hasn’t used a condom except with the women he has kids with, and those women were probably thoroughly tested to make sure his blood line would continue just as he wanted it. And in all fairness the kids may not even be his,…