I feel sorry for my wife if Sean Hannity is sent to prison somehow for his role in all of this. She will never be able to make me cum as hard as I will the day he’s sentenced.

I’ll admit this: I love men’s cologne. Love it! From Old Spice and Drakkar to the expensive Bleu and almost all the other designer fragrances. I can’t really name a men’s cologne I don’t like. If I smell it, I’m drawn toward the source. If, dear Lord, the source has a fresh haircut, lined up beard, really nice, smooth…

I (black) was sitting in a coworkers (black) office when another coworker (white)walked in. She’s standing next to me and goes “oh your hair is so pretty” as she’s reaching over to stick her whole hand IN MY HEAD! I hit the matrix on her and told her “don’t touch me” very forcefully.

when you feel superior to another person, you feel free to touch them without permission

Yes. I used to have long hair that I wore in a single braid, and white men (and a couple of latino and black men) felt very free about pawing at it. My theory is that when you feel superior to another person, you feel free to touch them without permission. 

I feel like I shouldn’t be laughing at this comment, yet here we are.

*googles “who was governor of New York on 9/11"*

There’s always a flip side.

Yeah, he’s the most condescending motherfucker on the planet in his 12 button suits. I guess Mo’Nique is just trying to get her side out there but she had to know this would be a giant waste of time.

Trying to get paid is Rich people Problems? I’m sure Steve Harvey’s Lip Caterpillar doesn’t even leave the house for…

The only Steve Harvey I’ll watch is Kenan Thompson as Steve Harvey.

Spoiler alert: Being alone rules. If you have a hard time believing this, think about how you would feel whenever your spouse went out of town. Did you pine for them from the moment they left until the moment they returned?

Oh no, what will the game streaming community ever do without...checks notes...professional mask wearer/iPod play button pusher Deadmouse. It will be ruined.

So it’s like going from engaged to married... once you hit a certain point, the faults just start accumulating at a faster rate.

If salad is the silent killer, then why can we hear a vegan three miles away?

I am dead. Deceased. Thanks for posting this!

Oh, yeaaaaahhhh!

He’s more shook than a white girl on molly at a 3 day festival. 

Busting through walls like the Kool-Aide man. I screamed when I saw this.

Mueller filed sealed documents that were placed in The Vault this morning. I doubt he knows specifically what was in them, but probably knows which one of these Mueller picked.

The memory cards were the worst thing about the Vita.