Many restaurants use bagged salads as well, plus you have all the staff handling the stuff.

Here fundamentalist Muslims practice for the “Dead Swan Lake for Drowning Infidels” ballet.

What do you mean “almost”? It’s weird when anyone converts to any religion.

Blac Chyna is a paper two-bagger — the first one covers her face and the second one is applied in case the first one tears.

O’Reilly’s next book is about to hit the store.

Why won't the dead stay dead? Bringing back the X-Files is like the resurrection of imaginary Jesus — you pretend it's the same but there's no substance — merely faith.

A Whole Foods and Starbucks might increase my property values but the over-hyped and over-priced stench of hipster-elite materialism, urban professional superficial quackos, and parasitic growth of electronic devices sprouting out of every orifice of fawning technology sycophants certainly diminishes my quality of…

Relevant Southpark reference.

Foreign kids that might have oil under their house or hovels.

These two look like ugly puppets from “Team America: World Police.”

For those that love Chipotle, E. coli is still on the hidden menu but you have to ask and there is an upcharge. Luckily, management has said if enough people ask it will be back on the full menu for March Madness.

Was the game name "Thousands of Dead and Maimed American Military Personnel and Hundreds of Thousands Innocent Iraqi Civilians Killed, Maimed, and Displaced" already taken?

In protest over 65, 000 Indians gathered near the hospital in Jamshedpur and began to publicly shit in an act of defiance.

This is how I react to the brother’s circle-jerk power trip and the greasy, grey, fetid dead squirrel bro-yamaka that Doofus Fine wears.

Teresa Giudice still rocking the leopard print with the tough workouts she learned in the pen.

Good God! Pull a helmet on that noggin and with those hands and jaw she looks like a linebacker for Texas A&M.

Very minor league Leopold and Loeb.

Is she a competent attorney, or a vulture looking for her 15 minutes now that that Avery is in the spotlight? The fact that she’s tweeting about the trial suggests the latter.

Who will be cast as the children around Michael Jackson? There probably a hundred roles available for this road trip movie. I hope they show MJ pouring “Jesus Juice” down their throats, playing Doctor Jackson, lounging in bed naked, and millions of dollars going to “Parents” and that’s just if the film is made in the…