Robert Kardashian: “You know, being dead isn’t so bad compared to living with Kris, the mutant children, the incessant drama that’s all bullshit.

It’s as real as Kris Jenner’s face, though both are extremely creepy.

"South Florida has all kinds of weird shit running around . . ."

I believe the little guy found his lady. Here’s the selfie.

“ I can see the Duggar’s house from here. Hey Josh, open the bathroom curtains!"

“. . . and crap in my diapers.”

“Not only is Rob Kardashian probably sleeping with Blac Chyna, he’s also rubbing it in the faces of his many family members.”

I'd throw this whole bunch of sheep biscuits in one direction under a steamroller if it would bring back Abe -or even if it doesn't.

“See girls, this is how you do bukkake. Now tell the pool guys to get back to work."

Kris Jenner — without glasses and the armored-plated makeup.

“I just sold you to a Saudi prince. And tomorrow I'm bringing Lamar here — I need a brown ottoman in my bedroom."

“I went up to her like this and did a titty-twister and she had the audacity to not send me nekkid pictures. I told her I'd keep in my Bible 'cause no one ever looks there.”

My vote for President will go to the candidate that commits to an executive order that anyone publicly singing “Amazing Grace” qualifies for an immediate and on-the-spot death sentence.

Many of the good upstanding protesting Christian men were shocked at the sight of breasts as these were the first they’d seen since viewing porn the night before.

2016 Winner of the Rachel Dolezal Award for “Idiocy In Action.”

I see your morality is applied unequally as befits your idiotic self-induced myopia.

Life is unfair. However, they are still responsible.

The National Guard has been called out to attack American Airlines and kill all the flight crew, booking agents, and staff as a result of your suffering.