The dad picked his son up at the cop shop only to ask "How did it handle at 94mph?" which he then began to explain how upset he was under the prying eyes of his mother.

I only select music during one time on my road trips. The girl and I visit Cedar Point 20-30 times a year. If you've never been, the causeway leading to the park has water on both sides for 2.5 miles. On your left your greeted with about 10 of 17 different roller coasters jutting out of the land ahead. On your right…

@mytdawg: There have been many incidents at the park with hordes of witnesses. Even people who die at the hotels such as a heart attck or other natural cause are pronounced dead at the hospital.

@superbadd75: They have been replaced twice. MAX speed is almost 80mph. Max speed allowed is 40

I used to work for the mouse. 2 things

@domino: I'm a little dead on the inside now. Its gonna be hard today, driving down the turnpike, I'll see all the cars with happy owners and think about how this guy suffers in a junk yard. I think I'll throw This mortal Coil's; It Will End in Tears album in for the ride.

@bzr: You wouldn't make your woman wash the car would you? Thats just mean to the car. The swirl marks in the paint and the water spots would be too much for me to handle. She wouldn't even dress the tires.

@Deartháir - Now with more Age™!: I was a porter at 17 and we had a Chevy Starcraft custom van that had those really fancy captains/driver chairs with a hojillion different buttons and seat movement switches. The trim/electrical mechanic had to take out the seat to get it back into working order and you don't want it…

The presidential limousine prior to 1983.

@POLAЯ MISSES THE OTHEЯ JALOPNIK: Dodge hasn't figured out how to orchestrate their exhaust systems. Challenger is meh both old and new and the Viper never gave me chills either. I'd take finally tuned exhaust notes over things like seats and silly looking shifters.

He should have bought her one of those stove/oven combinations that have the foot soaker built in. It helps keep 'em in line.

Telling the wife twice should always be done when people are looking. It sends a message.

It puts down over 221 HP for torque? Thats awesome.

I'll need to be paid to tow it out of there. otherwise I feel that it will heavily cut into $500 LeMons budget. Crack Pipe for LeMons, Nice Price for a lawn ornament

@WheatKing: Complete with theme, which I will now be driving around listening to all day.

@Alphamazing: Do you have my funny/not funny/really funny contribution stats? I'm going to say 97% not funny, 0%funny and 3% really funny.

I'm getting married, inviting Jalopnik and this little gem is going in the pre-nup.

My girlfriend and I were coming home late from Cedar Point Saturday night. Current construction zones within construction zones* force us to get off I-75 and ruin the suspension so we can get back to I-75.

Hey thanks. I'd like to point out I am not a completely heartless bastard. I started off this weekend with a joke about Michaels death that had the cause blamed on food poisoning and some 12 year old nuts.

@EMPM, Esq.: This just in. [Amazon.com] reprts they sold out of Oxi Clean, Ding King and Might Mend It while Zune Marketplace reports that Pitchmen is the most downloaded Podcast.