NOT a lazy bitch. I am a bitch whose g-spot lines up perfectly with her husband's anatomy while in the missionary position. And now you know far too much about me. I am sad that Hot Chocolate is losing to cake. I love me some rich, decadent hot chocolate.

The beach bodies spread made me almost cry out of rage.

I am a Girl Guide, and my training came in very handy yesterday when a minor grease fire started on my stove top. I kept my head, put out the fire and cleaned it up in a jiffy, no harm done. I can also make kickass pizza with chocolate fondue for dessert. On a campfire.

My husband got suspicious when I was a little TOO enthusiastic about wanting watch Star Wars with him. I would watch Ewan read pages out of the phone book. His travel miniseries are awesome too. I might have gotten a little flustered while watching him change shocks on his motorcycle (hot, biker, good with his…

I lost so much weight when I lived in a teeny podunk town with no pizza delivery, but 24-hour access to the gym. (the gym was a co-op—when you paid your fees you were given a key) I was never in better shape!

babies get lojacked in the maternity ward in the hospital where I used to work. At birth they get a special bracelet with an electrode on it. If a baby is taken near a ward exit without authorization of a nurse the ward gets locked down and the elevators shut down.

I'll be in my bunk.

My Barbies would have loved to have played with your Barbies!

What a beautiful birth story. Thank you for sharing.

Come to Canada, the land of free healthcare and restricted videos of The Christmas Shoes. Will that fit on a bumper sticker?

When clicking on The Christmas Shoes I was greeted with the following message: "The Uploader has not made this video available in your country"

I would totally have another baby if those guys could be his/her grandparents.

Me TOO!!

denture cleaning tablets work well for soaking gunk out of bendy straws (and sippy cup lids, and they get the stale coffee smell out of your favourite travel mug too)

Our boyfriend is kind of slutty, isn't he?

I'll bring the blowtorch and toddies.

I can't believe my boyfriend Michael Buble is getting beaten by a shrill little girl!!! Also, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer must be KILLED WITH FIRE

I loved Mr. Hooper. I still miss him.

how does one nominate this for quote of the day?

re-activate the grease with a spritz of WD-40, then rub in some dish detergent (Dawn is the best) with an old toothbrush, then launder as usual. My mom taught me that trick and it worked on some of my hospital scrubs that went through the washer and dryer with a lipgloss in the pocket.