Gratitude and hugs right backatcha, love.

Her father set her up to be fetishized, while pretending he was protecting her. It’s layers upon layers of chaotic thinking and male bullshit.

The child is 18 years old and the entire internet is discussing her gynecological visits. I would have died of shame. I can only imagine how much she’s suffering right now, after suffering having that jackass as a father all these years.

I had a very similar sort of dad, and I hope for you what happened to me after the old drunk died: we began to get along splendidly, and he became exactly the dad I always needed. Death is a miracle sometimes. 

I’m sure you’re right, but I was the one having all the great sex. The key was to be ostracized by the *right people.*

Preps were mocked by everyone, Boing! Because they were assholes with no taste, for starters, as you know.

It’s funny, but I came up in the 80s, and preps might have been a media thing or a trend; they were, however, the opposite of cool. Un-un-uncool.

Really, though, she ditched him after the vows, because she realized how . . . let us say *conflicted* he was, especially after Jez peed through the church ceiling.

I adore Tom Lehrer, and my sister worked with a doctor whose father allegedly invented Jell-O 1-2-3, which also had something to do with the military. (The military is involved in all of these conversations, I notice, as it is when meth is the subject.)

What I love the most is that it’s the women who don’t know the difference between a live baby and a doll, and the men who might have killed the original.

His clothes are prison.

But, alas, Epicurean, not stoic. Do keep up, Byron.

You could have done anything -- entered a dogfighting ring as the only human contestant, worked as a live candle snuffer in Historic Williamsburg -- but you chose instead the most selfless of all endeavors: riding the nepotism train all the way to obscene wealth via the Saudi royal family. #windbeneathmywings…

Kenneth Branagh hosting WHERE ARE BEN AFFLECK’S LIPS is the height of irony, unless he’s looking for some to steal for himself.

I did it with great care and constancy, too. I looked at it as an act of gratitude for all those songwriters and musicians who had lovingly prepared a statement for me in advance, and not at all me being deep down petty. 

Man, I know exactly what you mean about Angelina Jolie. She inspires an irrational, murderous rage in so many people that I flinch when I see photos of her in the press. The way they talk about her, too -- the succubus, monster, soul-eating stuff -- is all about stripping her of her humanity at the most basic level.…

We have the same taste -- Peep Show is maybe my favorite show ever -- along with two you didn’t mention, Black Books, and Fresh Meat. All of these are too salty for 11-year-olds, but man, are they good. 

He is absolutely the best comedian in the world, YES.

It just came out, so thanks for the support. 

Stand up is my safety profession when my current gig fails, so thanks for the tip.