When Wolfenstein rebooted the first time in the early 90s, it came out of the same mold as Doom

We do not tolerate bullying of any kind in our schools

because it is backed by governments

I love the expressions of the ladies on the outside in the top photo... the one on the right seems to be thinking “Are you really that stupid?” And the one on the left is just not having it at all.

You can encourage your children to chase their dreams without “putting them first”. They are objectively and demonstrably less important than their parents. In fact, nature has given you an indication of how important a parent is since there are two of them... built in redundancy.

Go for a flight. Listen to the…

Someone’s kids are going to grow up to be liberal arts majors!

Do NOT put your kid first. Parents come first. If the parents’ needs are neglected, the kid will be neglected. Also, stay away from the Cult of Mom... those are the freaks that do the whole “Being a Mom is my purpose in life!” No, it’s not. This isn’t the…

What they did right...
They encouraged us in our creative and intellectual efforts.

They demonstrated that being trendy is a waste of time (we didn’t have name-brand clothes or... like anything. But everyone who went to my school that DID have the trendy stuff lived in run-down town houses and apartments while we lived…

Only social pressure will stop people from drinking and driving. If you know you’re gonna get harassed for YEARS by your peers and strangers, you might think twice about not calling an Uber.

There is literally no excuse for drunk driving. If you need to drive at any point in the day, don’t drink. If that’s too strict…

K, so this does not follow logically. Amazon can’t both be a horrible place to work and in such high demand that people get into fist fights trying to work for them. Something’s amiss.

Is it appropriate to make those little paper football things out of dollar bills and throw them at the server? Because that’s my go-to when I need something. Also, for when I’m bored and they’re wearing those little half-aprons with the pockets in front. Sometimes it’s fun to try to get it in the pocket... I usually…

Maybe 2000 years ago, contented poverty was a good thing. Today, I’d argue it is bad.

I will always want more than I have. It inspires me to make more money, which inspires me to do better, more productive jobs. When I am more productive, society wins a little bit. When a bunch of people are more productive, society…

So, it’s OK for two men to get married, but it’s not OK for someone to get pee’d on? I’m confused... Are we supposed to judge people for their sexual preferences or not?

I don’t really care too much what your personal viewpoint is on most issues as long as you’re consistent (because it’s hard to be consistently bad…

Ok, for #4, you gotta get creative with your positioning. Oral sex can be performed in a variety of ergonomic positions. You can be sitting on the table or counter with your feet on his (or hers... not judging) shoulders. There is also the beloved face sitting, which may be less ergonomic for the recipient (depending…

If this is satire, you are a GOD. If not.... Let me get this straight...

It’s not OK for a man to admit that he’s wrong, you (or another woman) have to TELL him he’s wrong, because if HE admits he’s wrong before you tell him, he’s removing your agency?

Vegan, by the definition from the man who coined the term, means simply not eating animals or animal products. It has been perverted by extremists to include all the other garbage.

It is highly unlikely that we’d have every crop in the nation affected by disease at the same time, or run out of bees. Plus, there are…

k, so why are black people less likely to own businesses? Why are they unable/unwilling to have paid employees?

“FFS, can’t we be human to each other? It really is in our best interest.“ 

You realize that every transaction this app results in means a transaction taken away from non-black businesses, right? It’s not in…

Why are we so obsessed with milk? Because the USDA tells us we should be (plus, you know, casomorphins)

More than you know, my friend. Figs are poised to become the superfood of the new new millennium. They are chewy and crunchy, and what other dried fruit can be used to create Newtons? They are indeed a force to be reckoned with. (see what I did there? A little physics joke)

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Look at the data. The countries that consume the most dairy have the most hip fractures. Cow milk contains galactose. Galactose is used accelerate the aging process in lab animals. And accelerated aging is great, right?  

This works pretty well for me. I set out to write a very bad short story once. My intent was make an iceberg-style story (only telling what was above the surface) but not actually have anything below the surface - that is to say, there was no intended symbolism.

It ended up being (or seeming) really deep and symbolic.…