. . . to the nearest China cabinet . . .

Yeah. A smart baby would hear the capital C!

Who cares about his brains when he has the looks...I just want to devour his cheeks and permanently furrowed brow with a fork. He’s cute enough to coast by on his looks and not have to worry about being smart, imo. He can find a nice lady baby someday to provide for him and he can feed the world with his giant fat…

I bet Ariana Grande knows China is a country...maybe she’s the world’s smartest baby.

Drake’s epic spit-take has to be the most honest and logical response to sexual entitlement I’ve ever seen. It’s hilarious, until you realize...it isn’t.

Madonna specifically seems to relish in open mouth kissing on stage. It kind of reads the same way as two straight girls kissing at a party on a dare does. LOOK AT ME! AREN’T I WILD?!?

I could be wrong, I’m not pyschic, but I think what he’s trying to prove is that having someone stick their tongue down your throat without your consent is gross and disconcerting.

HERE ARE FACTS:

I think that’s Carson Kressley - one of the Queer Eye guys.

Hi, I’m Drake. I bring my chair with me wherever I go!

I feel like I probably relate more to Mary J Blige in the background. She looks as concerned as I feel....

That was actually kind of disturbing. It looks to me like maybe (maybe) a “stage” kiss was planned and at some point she decided tongue (or something) should be involved without letting him know. Not cool. Not cool at all.

She assaulted him in a particularly gross and public way.

Basically simulating what it’s like to use the Tidal app.

He should also send her a bouquet of hydrangeas.

That (reaction) was ... uncomfortable. I think some people would be freaking out about this clip if their gender roles were reversed.

DRAKE’S REACTION IS SO FUCKING PRICELESS OH MY GOD

As the mother of 4 sons, I would be all over this shit if he was my kid.

Hopefully it’s his mother.