"But no one gushes over juice derivatives in this way."

No shit. There's no alcohol in those.

Yes, because those countries represent the entirety of the world. #Merica, #Learnin' #We'reboned

Yeah, no. I'd go ahead and just close your account now, because you're about to get blasted, and rightly so.

Well sure, but…if it's going to change - and it fucking has to - it's probably going to take all people.

I will be offering liquor and loosies to San Simon in the hope that Cleveland shits the bed forever and ever, amen.

Nope. Eric Bolling is a first class cocksucking asshole. He was doing what he does.

I like how everybody stands around and does absolutely nothing for the knocked out kid. Thanks, guys!

For fucks sake.

"PC bullying tactics?"

"The origin was benign?"

"WisdomAndTruth?"

So much dumb.

I fucking hate the very idea of Darren Rovell.

As a former season ticket holder who once saw a knife fight break out two rows ahead of us at Arrowhead (and our seats were 7th row on the 50 yard line, not up in the hinterland where anything goes), this guy *could* have been up to anything.

YES IT MOST DEFINITELY DID.

"Much less throwing around F-bombs while doing so."

You understand that this story is made up? There was no kid, no F-bombs thrown. We're having a meta-discussion about childhood, and adults who seem to take pleasure in the *completely made-up scenario* of "Got dang I SHUT THAT KID DOWN."

The answer here is that those…

All children, above and beyond the age of infant and baby, act like dicks sometimes. This is a fact. Regardless of the shining example of your sisters, I guran-fucking-tee they were both huge bitches on some occasion past babyhood.

What? Every single child in the world, was a rude, screaming, inconsolable little prick at some time. That's why it's called "childhood."

Yes, because "beating the shit" out of kids = successful and well-adjusted. For fucks sake.

Nope, that's called reality, friend.

Fuck this deal. I hope LBJ never wins another ring in his life.

+1000

Two relatively humorous birth stories: first kid, water broke and the hospital is a good 25-30 minutes away. We were bug-out bag prepared but in my weirdness I called the cops and told them "baby coming, not stopping."

About halfway to the hospital on the highway a cop comes blazing out of nowhere behind us, comes…